“Begin the morning by saying to thyself, I shall meet with the busybody, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial. All these things happen to them by reason of their ignorance of what is good and evil. But I who have seen the nature of the good that it is beautiful and of the bad that it is ugly, and the nature of him who does wrong, that it is akin to me, not [only] of the same blood or seed, but that it participates in [the same] intelligence and [the same] portion of the divinity, I can neither be injured by any of them, for no one can fix on me what is ugly, nor can I be angry with my kinsman, nor hate him. For we are made for cooperation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of the upper and lower teeth. To act against one another then is contrary to nature; and it is acting against one another to be vexed and to turn away.”

“…but those who do not observe the movements of their own minds must of necessity be unhappy.”

“For the present is the only thing of which a man can be deprived, if it is true that this is the only thing which he has, and that a man cannot lose a thing if he has it not.”

“…and life is a warfare and a stranger’s sojourn, and after-fame is oblivion.”

“And he remembers also that every rational animal is his kinsman, and that to care for all men is according to man’s nature.”

“Let no act be done without a purpose…”

“Do not act as if thou wert going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over thee. While thou livest, while it is in thy power, be good.”

“…making thyself neither the tyrant nor the slave of any man.”

“Time is like a river made up of the events which happen, and a violent stream; for as soon as a thing has been seen, it is carried away, and another comes in its places, and this will be carried away too.”

“Think of the universal substance, of which thou hast a very small portion; and of universal time, of which a short and indivisible interval has been assigned to thee; and of that which is fixed by destiny, and how small a part of it thou art.”

“He who loves fame considers another man’s activity to be his own good; and he who loves pleasure, his on sensations; but he who has understanding, considers his own acts to be his own good.”

“…and that they do wrong through ignorance and unintentionally, and that soon both of you will die; and above all, that the wrong-doer has done thee no harm, for he has not made thy ruling faculty worse than it was before.”

“When a man has done thee any wrong, immediately consider with what opinion about good or evil he has done wrong…It is thy duty then to pardon him. But if thou dost not think such things to be good or evil, thou wilt more readily be well-disposed to him who is in error.”

“Think of thy last hour. Let the wrong which is done by man stay there where the wrong was done.”

“…to have contemplated human life for forty years is the same as to have contemplated it for ten thousand years. For what more wilt thou see?”

“Consider thyself to be dead, and to have completed thy life up to the present time; and live according to nature the remainder which is allowed thee.”

“Take care not to feel towards the inhuman as they feel towards men.”

“The perfect moral character consists in this, passing every day as the last, and in being neither violently excited, nor torpid, nor playing the hypocrite.”

“…thou hast leisure to be superior to love of fame, and not to be vexed at stupid and ungrateful people, nay even to care for them.”

“Receive [wealth or prosperity] without arrogance; and be ready to let it go.”

“No longer talk at all about the kind of man that a good man ought to be, but be such.”

“Constantly consider how all things such as they now are, in time past also were; and consider that they will be the same again. And place before thy eyes entire dramas and stages of the same form, whatever thou hast learned from thy experience or from older history;”

“Severally on the occasion of everything that thou doest, pause and ask thyself, if death is a dreadful thing because it deprives thee of this.”

“These are the properties of the rational soul: it sees itself, analyzes itself, and makes itself such as it chooses; the fruit which it bears itself enjoys—

“But I will be mild and benevolent towards every man, and ready to show even him his mistake, not reproachfully, nor yet as making a display of my endurance, but nobly and honestly, like the great Phocion, unless he only assumed it.”

“Men despise one another and flatter one another; and men wish to raise themselves above one another, and crouch before one another.”

“Sixth, consider when thou art much vexed or grieved, that man’s life is only a moment, and after a short time we are all laid out dead.”

“…but that mildness and gentleness, as the are more agreeable to human nature, so also are they more manly; and he who possesses these qualities possesses strength, nerves and courage, and not the man who is subject to fits of passion and discontent.”

“…for there is no veil over a star.”

Learning how to attract women....like really fast

Relationships are a tricky business. They require lots of hard work, attention, and loads of other variables that must be right for both parties. While searching for you soul mate you may experience various relationships that you aren’t quite sure about and want to know what course of action you should take. It is important to recognize that there are a lot of people who may be good for you but not the one you need to be with. Also, there are people who are going to be disastrous for your life and you need to train yourself to recognize them before they mess up things too badly. Knowing when to end a relationship is one of the most valuable tools you can possess when it comes to having a successful love life. While it isn’t always easy to break things off because of how deep the feelings involved are, it is necessary to take action when it is best for you.

1. When the Passion is Gone

If the spark you and your partner had between you is now gone and the two of you are essentially just going through the motions of a relationship then it may be time for you to call it quits. Now, it is important to remember that passions will cool down a bit as the relationship matures and that sometimes all that is necessary is to make time to be romantic with one another. But if it is consistently lacking and your thoughts start to wander towards other people you should definitely consider ending the relationship.

2. Fights Become a Regular Occurrence

In any serious relationship you are going to have plenty of disagreements and quarrels but when every little thing sets off a dispute it’s going to kill off your relationship eventually. Keep in mind that being together with someone is meant to enhance both of your lives and not make them totally miserable. Never stay with someone solely because of what the two of you had in the past. If things have soured between the two of you and there is no real hope of working things out then it would be best not to drag it on into the future.

3. Is Your Future Dependent on Qualifying Statements?

Do you ever think about your future together and you have to imagine it being happy only if they make a dramatic change to themselves? Your partner may be a terrific person when they aren’t drinking but if they have severe alcohol problems it becomes hard to see how you will live happily ever after with them. It doesn’t have to be a drug or alcohol problem, it can be as simple as your partner not having the same amount of ambition in life. That is something that can be very hard to change in a person and if you start making concessions then where you want to go in life and where you would end up with them will be two very different places. You shouldn’t settle for someone because they are a decent match, that’s what you do when looking for an apartment while broke and it doesn’t transfer well to happiness in your love life.

4. Is There Time for Each Other?

The two of you may have not have similar demands with work, school, or family obligations which can put a serious strain on a relationship. If one of you is very needy with the time you spend together and the other person either doesn’t have or isn’t willing to accommodate someone in their lives then it is doomed to failure. If you do stay together you can usually expect more fighting or at the very least a bland relationship that is only still going to save face. Don’t let it get to that point and just end it because there probably won’t be a future together worth sticking around for.

5. I Get No Respect

All relationships need mutual respect as a part of their foundation and if it isn’t there you are in for lots of headaches. Take stock of how your partner treats you. Do they belittle your career? Your interests? Do they see you as subservient? If the answer is yes then you are not getting the proper respect that you deserve. Again it comes down to how the person effects your life. Some who constantly chips away at your self-esteem should not be considered a keeper by any measure. A relationship is supposed to uplift you and make you feel good about yourself so why settle for less? On the flip side if you don’t have respect for your partner then it is unfair for them and obviously not the right situation for you so do the right thing.

6. Spending Time with Them is Work

This goes beyond just losing the spark or being bored with a relationship. If simply the thought of hanging out or having a date night with your partner makes you sigh and think about all of the better things that you could do instead then it’s pretty much game over at that point. Everybody needs some space from time to time but you cannot take it to the extreme and still stay in a relationship.

7. Trust is Gone

Nothing is perfect and you should expect to have some hiccups while involved with someone, however, if they have at some point violated your trust and you cannot forgive them then just move on. Without trust things quickly deteriorate and your anxiety levels will go through the roof because you will be worrying about them every single time they leave your sight. Also, cheating should be grounds for automatic dismissal no matter what because they have not only disrespected you but have also destroyed any trust you had in them.

The preceding seven signs of a floundering relationship are not the only things that you need to look for. The best advice I can give is to take some time to clear your head and really analyze how your relationship is going. Determine if it is meeting your needs and making your life better or if it acts more as a burden. Some problems can be fixed and some cannot so take into account whether you even want to try and improve the relationship or if it is time to move on to something new. Keep in mind that we only have a limited amount of time on this Earth and spending it with someone that you don’t really want to be with isn’t good for either of you.

I have a lot of weaknesses that I need to work on but self-confidence is one of my greatest strengths. It wasn’t always the case that I was a confident person on the exterior but I have always maintained an undying belief in myself even if in my interactions I was shy and timid. In all my years on this planet I have had the opportunity to meet some really great people and I’ve noticed that some of the smartest and most interesting had zero self-confidence. Confidence isn't something you’re born with rather it is something that can be honed and strengthened over time and have a profound impact on how you live your life. For me it was a challenge to break out of my shyness and transform that inner belief into outward confidence but I have successfully done it. Hell, five or six years ago I was all but petrified to talk to a girl and nowadays the past few girls I have dated remarked that one of the main reasons they fell for me was due to my confidence. So if it is something that can be developed in a person what are some steps you can take to make yourself into the confident person you want to be? It’s not always an easy journey but developing self-confidence is a must if you ever want to be successful.

1. Figure Out What You Can and Can’t Do

Strengths and weaknesses, we all have them but do most of us really take advantage of them? Confidence in yourself stems from how well you can react in a given situation and if you are particularly strong in one area then you should use that as a place to start building your self-confidence. Suppose you had to give a speech in front a classroom full of people. What topic could you speak in a detailed and interesting manner and have the least amount of doubt or anxiety within while speaking? As I have mentioned before, I am terrible at math so if someone asked me to get in front of a room and speak on mathematics in detail I wouldn’t be able to pull it off and the whole situation would go badly. However, if I were allowed to choose a topic I knew very well even if I didn’t have any prep time I could still confidently work my way through it.

The point of all that was to show that your strengths can be a source of confidence just by focusing on what you do well. On the opposite end of the spectrum you should clearly define your weaknesses and decide how you’re going to begin to turn them into strengths. It is important to recognize that some weaknesses are actually limits that you cannot personally go beyond. I could study for years and never be a brilliant mathematician and that’s okay I don’t feel down on myself because of it. I have tried many different things in my life to discover what I was good at and what I would fail miserably at. You shouldn’t limit your dreams but you do need to realize that you cannot do everything at a high enough level to be great at it.

2. You Know Your Strengths, Get Ready to Reach Your Potential

Remember the speech example? What would my confidence level have been if I would have had a week or two to prepare and practice? Pretty damned high. Being the best you can be at something isn’t just a matter of having natural talents but cultivating them as well. Putting the work into making yourself even better will naturally give you a shot of confidence that you never had before. You will feel accomplished and well prepared to react to any changes that present themselves in your life. Working towards being the best that you can be gives you a type of focus that very few people in this world have and when you start seeing all of the positive changes and others take notice of them it is a recipe for a strong self-confidence.

3. Learn From Your Failures, Don’t Let Them Ruin You

Getting knocked on your ass by life is a total confidence killer IF you let it be. Trial and error is always a step on the path to accomplishing your goals and you will undoubtedly have more failures than you will ever have triumphs. That’s okay. That is how it is supposed to be. Life is a learning experience and if you want to live a good life you have to get beaten down sometimes and figure out how to keep on going. Failure makes your victories all the more sweet because of all the time, energy, and thought you put into your goal. Confidence can be had through education, learning what does and doesn’t work and channeling that into your future ventures. Have you failed with the opposite sex before? I have and it didn’t feel too good. Was that a reason to just give up and live an unhappy life all alone? Hell no. I took my lumps, licked my wounds, and gave the dating world another shot and you know what I’ve been succeeding in ways I couldn’t imagine a few years ago. Failure is not the end of the world; it is the start of something new.

4. Surround Yourself with More Positive People

One huge hindrance in many people’s lives is the social identity that they have developed for themselves and it being hard to get away from. Your friends and family have certain perceptions of who you are and they aren’t always the most accurate picture. If you want to make a dramatic change in your life these same people can often react negatively to your new found ambitions. The environment that surrounds you can have a positive or negative effect on how you live your life and if you’re not careful it can cause you to stagnate for years at a time. Think about it like this, say you wanted to go on a diet and you and all of you’re friends get together on a regular basis and eat foods that aren’t in your diet. Would these friends be supportive or would they judge you and act negatively towards your change? Sometimes the best of friends can be more of a weight holding you down than a positive influence that raises you up. Misery loves company and two people can trick themselves into thinking they are happy with their current life if everyone they surround themselves with is also going nowhere. Confidence comes from within but it can also be bolstered by those around you that shower you with love and encouragement. Take stock of who is and who isn’t a positive person and strongly consider distancing yourself who only want to keep you down with them.

5. Learn to take Criticism in Stride

Looking at number four you see that sometimes friends have negative reactions to what you want to do and the changes you make to get there. Other times their criticisms are valid and you should learn to accept these constructive criticisms. The difference is fairly easy to spot, constructive criticism doesn’t present itself in the form of personal attacks and provides insight that you might not have recognized yourself. If you want to increase your self-confidence you cannot take constructive criticism to heart because it will only serve to help you grow as a person. Whoever is criticizing you isn’t trying to bring you down or belittle your work but rather give advice on how you can get better. On the other hand you have to be able to take negative personal attacks in stride and easily forget them. There will always be some small number of people that will lob hollow critiques of you and your life that are designed to simply cause damaged to your self-esteem. Don’t fall into the trap of embarrassment or fear of trying because of these people, they are just bitter and if you take them seriously you’ll go nowhere.

The main thing when trying to build up your self-confidence is to really get in touch with who you truly are and where you want to be in the future. You cannot always escape negativity and in all honesty you shouldn’t try to because failure and pain are sometimes the only paths to success. Figure out what it is you are good at and then use that as a place to build off of not only your self-confidence but your life in general. It takes time and it takes effort but being self-confident is attainable for anyone who is willing to put in the work.

We all have lazy days where we don’t really get anything done nor do we even much feel like it. Of course it is fine to have an occasional day of relaxation to help get your mind off the stresses of your life and recharge your batteries but when it becomes a daily occurrence and your productivity becomes non existent it is time to get back in gear. Perhaps you aren’t stuck in a rut but you would still like to increase your productivity so you can get more done and have more lazy days. Being consistently productive is one of my weaker areas and still needs improvement but I have come a long way from where I used to be by sticking to some simple principles.

1. Identify the Tasks to Accomplish

The very first thing you should do before you begin working on something is to take the time and identify what it is you are exactly trying to accomplish. I can sit down and say I want to write an article and then sit there not getting anything done. The problem is my goal is too vague, what topic am I writing about? What kind of research needs to go into it? How much time should I set aside to finish it? Define what you are doing or you will spend your time in idle distraction.

Once you have figured out what you are doing decide how you’re going to get it done. Are there anyways that you can improve your efficiency? Can something be cut totally from the list? Is there a smarter way to get to the end? Knowing what needs to be done will allow for better fluidity and because you have a clear goal you can adapt to any problems that arise with ease. Keep a detailed planner of what you need to do that day and work your way down the list.

2. What is the Highest Priority?

Most days I’ll write down more tasks than I can reasonably expect to get done which is fine because not all of them have that day as a deadline. If I have an assignment that is due in a week I will write it down earlier to serve as a reminder and as something to get done early if I happen to work quickly. The tasks that I do get done are always the highest priority ones first, the ones that have a definite due date on that day or tasks that create the most value for the time I spend. Value needs to always be taken into account when deciding what to tackle first. You may need to buy a new pair of shoes but is your time better spent searching online for an hour or taking that hour to really get a good way’s into an assignment that will provide income? Buying the shoes may be easier to do and it may take less time but jump into the difficult task first because it will be more beneficial to you.

3. Check Your Preconceptions

What do you think you’re going to get out of completing a task beforehand? Is your answer an accurate result to expect or are you deluding yourself into thinking it’s more valuable than it actually is? For example, at the beginning of the year I wrote a bunch of World Cup team previews thinking that they would be more popular than they actually ended up being. I wasted so many hours in research and then the writing of these articles that I just became bogged down in my own self-belief of their value. If I would have been honest with myself and questioned whether or not I could make these series of articles a success or not, I would have gone about things much differently. I shouldn’t have gotten caught up in completing such a useless task when there were so many other options that would provide me with higher value. Don’t blindly follow your preconceptions about something or you could be wasting your precious time doing something that doesn’t actually work for you.

4. Work From Your Strengths

Since I am in school, I really have to manage my time wisely otherwise nothing gets done and everything starts falling apart. To correct my course when I am feeling overwhelmed I try to work from my strengths. I may be faced with a choice between writing a new article or completing some math homework. Neither of these may be urgent in the time they need to get done and both have similar values in that they must both get done so I will have to make a decision on which on to start first. One of my biggest weaknesses has always been in math. It is really hard for me to consistently learn how to do a type of problem and because of this it requires greater time spent on it than other things. Writing is something that I am much more comfortable with and can just type out all of my ideas without much time being spent on the first draft and is thus my first task in this situation. By working on what I am best at first I get something done quickly and get the ego boost that comes with getting something done. However, it still applies that if the math assignment were more urgent I would of course do that first.

5. Group Your Tasks

Some tasks are small enough to be grouped together with other tasks to get things done more quickly. Think about it like running errands, you can hit the grocery store, pick up the kids, and get the dry cleaning all in one trip and save yourself the trouble of driving back and forth. Certain things like emails, phone calls, and shopping can be grouped together to increase your productivity or maybe more detailed assignments that are interrelated. Take stock of your daily list and see what you can combine and knock out in one fell swoop.

6. Cut the Distractions and Work Harder

Technology is wonderful and it is the reason I can communicate with people all around the world at tremendous speeds. It can also be very distracting and eat up your whole day without you noticing. If you want to increase your productivity set aside some time during the day when you are alone and without your phone, television, radio, and of course not surfing the web aimlessly. Texting your friend usually only takes a few seconds if you’re a quick at typing but having a conversation adds up to even more time plus the distraction of thinking about something besides the task at hand. It will take your mind elsewhere and then it often becomes bye bye focus making it exceedingly difficult to jump back into it with the same energy. Furthermore, it can help to clean up your workspace and remove all the clutter that will either distract you or make for an unpleasant environment to work in.

I have written in the past on this blog that failure isn’t necessarily a bad thing, that it can be beneficial to you as a learning experience. Even with that being true it is still something that must be ultimately overcome to reach our defined goal and be able to say we successfully accomplished it. But what are the root causes of failure? Why do some plans work while others flop? Why are some people good at accomplishing what they want while others crash and burn each and every time? Avoiding the most prevalent causes of failure allows for your chances of success to skyrocket. Now the following five causes of failure are by no means the only suspects for something to go wrong but they all usually play some role in the demise of our goals.

1. Fear of Past Failures

The past always has a profound effect psychologically on your present and future whether your experiences have been positive or negative. Letting a negative experience, in this case a failure, linger in your mind will work against you to sabotage accomplishing your new goals. This is where learning from your mistakes can be a very helpful thing as long as you don’t dwell on what went wrong and what you would go back and do differently. You must accept the fact that the past is the past and it can not inhibit you from taking the necessary steps to get what you want out of your life or your business. Fear can make you second guess your plans and even your ability to get those plans done and that second guessing isn’t the productive kind you need to be more efficient

2. Not Having a Clear Goal

Sometimes when you start on your journey you haven’t specified what it is exactly you want to do. You may wake up one morning with a positive attitude and the ambition to change your life and maybe do some things temporarily that do improve how you live. But unless you focus on a specific goal that you would like to accomplish the chance that you will fail is very large. Instead of saying I want to change my life say I want to change my social life for the better. Then go even more specific, I want more friends or I want to successfully set up this many dates within a certain time frame. Not having a clear goal is almost as detrimental as not having a goal at all in that neither one is going to take you where you want to ultimately be. Also, it is important to really reflect on things and decide if you have chosen the right goal. You could be expending lots of your precious time and energy into pursuing something that won’t help you or that you really don’t have a true passion for.

3. Blame Game

Failure leads to frustration which leads to short tempers and someone to point the finger at as the reason why you didn’t succeed. By trying to pin the blame on someone else you’re avoiding looking deeper into the real reasons you failed which probably had more to do with poor planning and/or execution. You need to condition yourself to act like a leader in that you should accept responsibility for what went wrong and be able to praise others for the help they have give you. This doesn’t mean that you should blame yourself totally and wallow in your own self pity. No, you need to realize your faults and mistakes and improve upon them, this helps to stamp out the first cause of reliving past mistakes.

4. Expecting Positive Returns with Short Cuts

Rarely is the easy way going to be the road you should take. If it were we would all be living or dream lives and working our dream jobs. You have to be willing to make a choice of going after what you want and giving up what is comfortable for you to do. Once you have decided to make a run at your goal you have to stick with it no matter how difficult it may be and not cut corners. If you see a better way to do something then of course you would try to implement it and make things happen quicker but you won’t get anything of value by doing a half-assed job. Maximize your time and try to get as much done as possible without busying yourself with things that won’t matter in the long run.

5. Quitting Too Early

Quitting to early can apply to two situations, the first is where you give up before you accomplish your goal and the second is when you get comfortable with your successes. Obviously if you quit before you’re done you are going to experience failure but the roots of you quitting stem due more to frustrations than any real barricade that cannot be overcome. Starting a goal is always the easy part, it’s the middle where things go awry and doubts about whether you can actually do it start to creep in. It can be extremely difficult to maintain your focus over long periods of time and we all get burned out. It is during these dark moments of despair that you must reevaluate. Step back from everything and take a look at what you’re doing wrong and what could be done without putting as much energy into it. Think of it as running a marathon, if you try sprint the only result will be complete failure to do the full 26.2 miles. Slow things down and focus on accomplishing smaller parts of a larger goal and let them all add up for you. When you do this you mustn’t get caught up in your own victories and believe that you can either cruise to the top or your work is done entirely. Changes to your life are never done and that’s what makes it all so exciting there is always something for you to work on to make you happy, healthier, and an overall better you.