Showing posts with label avoid complacency. Show all posts
Showing posts with label avoid complacency. Show all posts



“Begin the morning by saying to thyself, I shall meet with the busybody, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial. All these things happen to them by reason of their ignorance of what is good and evil. But I who have seen the nature of the good that it is beautiful and of the bad that it is ugly, and the nature of him who does wrong, that it is akin to me, not [only] of the same blood or seed, but that it participates in [the same] intelligence and [the same] portion of the divinity, I can neither be injured by any of them, for no one can fix on me what is ugly, nor can I be angry with my kinsman, nor hate him. For we are made for cooperation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of the upper and lower teeth. To act against one another then is contrary to nature; and it is acting against one another to be vexed and to turn away.”

“…but those who do not observe the movements of their own minds must of necessity be unhappy.”

“For the present is the only thing of which a man can be deprived, if it is true that this is the only thing which he has, and that a man cannot lose a thing if he has it not.”

“…and life is a warfare and a stranger’s sojourn, and after-fame is oblivion.”

“And he remembers also that every rational animal is his kinsman, and that to care for all men is according to man’s nature.”

“Let no act be done without a purpose…”

“Do not act as if thou wert going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over thee. While thou livest, while it is in thy power, be good.”

“…making thyself neither the tyrant nor the slave of any man.”

“Time is like a river made up of the events which happen, and a violent stream; for as soon as a thing has been seen, it is carried away, and another comes in its places, and this will be carried away too.”

“Think of the universal substance, of which thou hast a very small portion; and of universal time, of which a short and indivisible interval has been assigned to thee; and of that which is fixed by destiny, and how small a part of it thou art.”

“He who loves fame considers another man’s activity to be his own good; and he who loves pleasure, his on sensations; but he who has understanding, considers his own acts to be his own good.”

“…and that they do wrong through ignorance and unintentionally, and that soon both of you will die; and above all, that the wrong-doer has done thee no harm, for he has not made thy ruling faculty worse than it was before.”

“When a man has done thee any wrong, immediately consider with what opinion about good or evil he has done wrong…It is thy duty then to pardon him. But if thou dost not think such things to be good or evil, thou wilt more readily be well-disposed to him who is in error.”

“Think of thy last hour. Let the wrong which is done by man stay there where the wrong was done.”

“…to have contemplated human life for forty years is the same as to have contemplated it for ten thousand years. For what more wilt thou see?”

“Consider thyself to be dead, and to have completed thy life up to the present time; and live according to nature the remainder which is allowed thee.”

“Take care not to feel towards the inhuman as they feel towards men.”

“The perfect moral character consists in this, passing every day as the last, and in being neither violently excited, nor torpid, nor playing the hypocrite.”

“…thou hast leisure to be superior to love of fame, and not to be vexed at stupid and ungrateful people, nay even to care for them.”

“Receive [wealth or prosperity] without arrogance; and be ready to let it go.”

“No longer talk at all about the kind of man that a good man ought to be, but be such.”

“Constantly consider how all things such as they now are, in time past also were; and consider that they will be the same again. And place before thy eyes entire dramas and stages of the same form, whatever thou hast learned from thy experience or from older history;”

“Severally on the occasion of everything that thou doest, pause and ask thyself, if death is a dreadful thing because it deprives thee of this.”

“These are the properties of the rational soul: it sees itself, analyzes itself, and makes itself such as it chooses; the fruit which it bears itself enjoys—

“But I will be mild and benevolent towards every man, and ready to show even him his mistake, not reproachfully, nor yet as making a display of my endurance, but nobly and honestly, like the great Phocion, unless he only assumed it.”

“Men despise one another and flatter one another; and men wish to raise themselves above one another, and crouch before one another.”

“Sixth, consider when thou art much vexed or grieved, that man’s life is only a moment, and after a short time we are all laid out dead.”

“…but that mildness and gentleness, as the are more agreeable to human nature, so also are they more manly; and he who possesses these qualities possesses strength, nerves and courage, and not the man who is subject to fits of passion and discontent.”

“…for there is no veil over a star.”




Relationships are a tricky business. They require lots of hard work, attention, and loads of other variables that must be right for both parties. While searching for you soul mate you may experience various relationships that you aren’t quite sure about and want to know what course of action you should take. It is important to recognize that there are a lot of people who may be good for you but not the one you need to be with. Also, there are people who are going to be disastrous for your life and you need to train yourself to recognize them before they mess up things too badly. Knowing when to end a relationship is one of the most valuable tools you can possess when it comes to having a successful love life. While it isn’t always easy to break things off because of how deep the feelings involved are, it is necessary to take action when it is best for you.
1. When the Passion is Gone
If the spark you and your partner had between you is now gone and the two of you are essentially just going through the motions of a relationship then it may be time for you to call it quits. Now, it is important to remember that passions will cool down a bit as the relationship matures and that sometimes all that is necessary is to make time to be romantic with one another. But if it is consistently lacking and your thoughts start to wander towards other people you should definitely consider ending the relationship.
2. Fights Become a Regular Occurrence
In any serious relationship you are going to have plenty of disagreements and quarrels but when every little thing sets off a dispute it’s going to kill off your relationship eventually. Keep in mind that being together with someone is meant to enhance both of your lives and not make them totally miserable. Never stay with someone solely because of what the two of you had in the past. If things have soured between the two of you and there is no real hope of working things out then it would be best not to drag it on into the future.
3. Is Your Future Dependent on Qualifying Statements?
Do you ever think about your future together and you have to imagine it being happy only if they make a dramatic change to themselves? Your partner may be a terrific person when they aren’t drinking but if they have severe alcohol problems it becomes hard to see how you will live happily ever after with them. It doesn’t have to be a drug or alcohol problem, it can be as simple as your partner not having the same amount of ambition in life. That is something that can be very hard to change in a person and if you start making concessions then where you want to go in life and where you would end up with them will be two very different places. You shouldn’t settle for someone because they are a decent match, that’s what you do when looking for an apartment while broke and it doesn’t transfer well to happiness in your love life.
4. Is There Time for Each Other?
The two of you may have not have similar demands with work, school, or family obligations which can put a serious strain on a relationship. If one of you is very needy with the time you spend together and the other person either doesn’t have or isn’t willing to accommodate someone in their lives then it is doomed to failure. If you do stay together you can usually expect more fighting or at the very least a bland relationship that is only still going to save face. Don’t let it get to that point and just end it because there probably won’t be a future together worth sticking around for.
5. I Get No Respect
All relationships need mutual respect as a part of their foundation and if it isn’t there you are in for lots of headaches. Take stock of how your partner treats you. Do they belittle your career? Your interests? Do they see you as subservient? If the answer is yes then you are not getting the proper respect that you deserve. Again it comes down to how the person effects your life. Some who constantly chips away at your self-esteem should not be considered a keeper by any measure. A relationship is supposed to uplift you and make you feel good about yourself so why settle for less? On the flip side if you don’t have respect for your partner then it is unfair for them and obviously not the right situation for you so do the right thing.
6. Spending Time with Them is Work
This goes beyond just losing the spark or being bored with a relationship. If simply the thought of hanging out or having a date night with your partner makes you sigh and think about all of the better things that you could do instead then it’s pretty much game over at that point. Everybody needs some space from time to time but you cannot take it to the extreme and still stay in a relationship.
7. Trust is Gone
Nothing is perfect and you should expect to have some hiccups while involved with someone, however, if they have at some point violated your trust and you cannot forgive them then just move on. Without trust things quickly deteriorate and your anxiety levels will go through the roof because you will be worrying about them every single time they leave your sight. Also, cheating should be grounds for automatic dismissal no matter what because they have not only disrespected you but have also destroyed any trust you had in them.
The preceding seven signs of a floundering relationship are not the only things that you need to look for. The best advice I can give is to take some time to clear your head and really analyze how your relationship is going. Determine if it is meeting your needs and making your life better or if it acts more as a burden. Some problems can be fixed and some cannot so take into account whether you even want to try and improve the relationship or if it is time to move on to something new. Keep in mind that we only have a limited amount of time on this Earth and spending it with someone that you don’t really want to be with isn’t good for either of you.

Complacency can be the murderer of success. When we get into a comfortable position in life we tend to stop working, stop growing, and just not have the hunger we once did. Unfortunately for us the world around us doesn't stop changing and while we are standing still it is moving forward. We keep doing the same things that once worked well for us hoping to replicate earlier success and it doesn't work anymore because we failed to adapt all of life's little changes. This isn't to say that persistence and consistency aren't keys to success in life they are but when you allow your growth to be a rigid dogma of ideas you stop growing. How do we avoid this complacency and experience a lifetime of being on top of our game instead of just a few good years? By opening ourselves up to new ideas.

Any given year you can find a musician that has a great run of success and then won't ever be heard in a meaningful way ever again. It may be because they got lucky with a hit song and not really have much talent but there are plenty of others who are damn good musicians that fail to maintain their stardom mostly because they fail to adapt to changing tastes. It's like the disco craze, how many artists' careers did that claim? You see when you have success in one field or method you tend to get associated with that and that may be fine for awhile but it isn't very good for growth. This boxing yourself in forces you into stagnation and makes your life very predictable and without challenges.

The thing is that our educational system usually does the job for us by program specialization. Too many people choose a major and then ride it out for their entire careers without making a change even when they are experiencing diminishing returns. About a year ago before I had any concrete idea of how I was going to get to where I wanted to go I went to my student advisory meeting to see what kind of schedule I could put together. I hadn't declared a major yet and when the councilor asked me what I was looking into I said History and Biology. You would have thought that I had told a joke because he actually kind of laughed at the idea. Sure the two subjects aren't very similar and it would have required lots of work on my part but the idea of pairing two distant things was comical to him. To me the idea was just a way of exploring different concepts and finding a way to weave them together like I had read about with Benjamin Franklin, Cicero, da Vinci,Goethe, etc. These men weren't great because they narrowed their field of study but precisely because they never stopped expanding it.

Each new thing that you try can keep pushing you into a new direction and open up further doors for you. You let your ideas become fluid and less tightly controlled. Of course you must maintain some semblance of control and focus to master the new ideas but new methods and ideas shouldn't threaten you they should excite you. If you've ever watched what passes for political discussion in this country you know exactly what I mean, the other side has no good ideas and everybody is too stubborn to be proven wrong or think in another way. It's no wonder that nothing really ever gets done and the things that do are often watered down and ineffective. Without experimentation it becomes very difficult to solve problems and chokes any type of growth you may have experienced, remember Success is Made Out of Lots of Failure.

Experimentation and learning moves us forward and allows for us to adapt to a changing world. By casting your net wide you never allow for complacency to set in because as soon as you meet your goal in one area you are immediately drawn to something else that you're passionate about, hence you never rest on your laurels. You could say that you would never be the best at anything if you spread out your interests and that very well may be true but the king of the mountain can only go down or stay on top. If you knowledge or skill set is very specialized and you're the best at it what happens to your growth? You must now spend all of your time defending your spot at the top and in the process may very well become obsolete due to changing times. The security you feel in your position is in all likelihood just an illusion and if you aren't prepared for a rapid change you can often just get left in the cold. Think about all of the people who spent years working one job and becoming damn good at it only to be fired one day and not be able to move on to something else. They lost their mobility and became too rigid and comfortable seemingly unaware of how precarious their lives had been the whole time.

Always keep in mind that if you're not improving you're ultimately declining. So shake off the idea that your livelihood is guaranteed if you just show up and go through the motions, the world doesn't stop and neither should you. Take the time to examine yourself and what you want to have happen in your life then go out and pursue it without fear. Complacency can set in slowly but it is always a real threat to everything that you worked to build before it. Don't let it get you.

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