In all aspects of our lives we will periodically experience letdowns and sometimes it can seem that nothing ever goes your way. For men in the dating world these letdowns often come in the form of being rejected by a woman. The fear of rejection stands in the way of just about every guy at some point in their lives and it can be utterly crippling if you do not work to overcome it. There isn't anything inherently wrong with you as a man but your mind is planting seeds of doubt about your chances of attracting a potential mate. How do you get past your fear of rejection? I think that it is useful to weigh the costs of rejection against regretting not taking action.
If you are still going through the stage of inaction when you see an attractive girl on a regular basis then I'm going to assume it is out of inexperience. The rejection fear really represents a bridge you must cross in your quest to build self confidence and become a successful dater. You may have been working on your confidence for a while and changing your life for the better (if not you might start here Reinventing Yourself ) but while you're out on the town you come across a pretty girl and suddenly you freeze. What's the cause of your fear? That you will fail? Why is that such a bad thing? Getting rejected doesn't mean that you are somehow less of a person then you were five seconds before you made your approach, in fact you should be an improved person because there is opportunity to learn from your mistakes.
The fear can be reinforced from adolescence when it seemed like the whole school would see and laugh at you if you failed to land the girl you wanted. The thing is I don't think that it has ever been true unless you did something totally out there to get that many people talking but so what even if other people see your rejection they will soon forget. Your brain sometimes makes it seem as if you are the center of the universe and that everyone will pay attention and chide you for your failings but guess what they've all got their own problems to worry about. I can think back on my own life about all the many times I have been rejected and laugh at them now because they were all part of my learning experience, you cannot become good at anything in life without failure (see: Success is made of Failure)Were some of these approaches nerve racking in the moment? Yes, pretty much all of them but after it was over I didn't have to live with the notion of regret, I lived those moments the way I wanted to.
Notice this about rejection, you survive each time, I mean if it were as bad as our fear makes it out to be how am I still alive to write this today? This should also tell you that regret is a worse proposition than being rejected 100 times because you are putting boundaries within your life that shouldn't be there and once that opportunity to act is gone there may never be another one. You must get over any doubts and jump into action to be successful in picking up women and other areas of life as well and the only way to do this is to accept that failure (rejection in this case) is apart of the deal and is going to happen no matter how much of a smooth talker you are. So ask yourself today what's worse a few moments of nervousness or the compounded depression you will face by sitting on the sidelines and living your life with regret?
